


This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

by EmbretheWorld



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: :P, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Human AU, Humor, Implied Relationships, Kinda, Loke and Lucy are siblings btw throught adoption, Modeling, Multi, Sexual Humor, Swearing, Texting, Thats someones job, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, a throwout for it essentially, ezra is kinda clueless, gray does the same, ill link the video, levy insults the fuck of gray, not actually related, raku chan is mentioned, the same with virgo and loke too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:33:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28495392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmbretheWorld/pseuds/EmbretheWorld
Summary: A human Fairy Tail Group Chat that no one asked for.
Relationships: Bickslow & Loke (Fairy Tail), Bickslow/Lisanna Strauss, Gray Fullbuster/Juvia Lockser, Laxus Dreyar/Mirajane Strauss, Lisanna Strauss & Mirajane Strauss, Lucy Heartfilia & Erza Scarlet, Lucy Heartfilia & Levy McGarden, Lucy Heartfilia & Loke, Natsu Dragneel & Gray Fullbuster & Lucy Heartfilia & Erza Scarlet, Natsu Dragneel & Lucy Heartfilia
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

**Author's Note:**

> Made for the Human Au I'll never make but try too.
> 
> Here's the link to the Raku Chan dies video, you'll understand later: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTC0TNLb238&feature=emb_logo&ab_channel=ElliottBarson11Wickersley
> 
> I forgot the names:  
> ice cube: Gray  
> titania: Erza  
> lulu: Lucy  
> she devil: Mirajane  
> great sea: Juvia  
> iron head: Gajeel  
> cat boy/neko: Loke  
> Thunder thighs: laxus  
> bitches slow: bickslow  
> fire dragon king: Natsu  
> hacker: Levy  
> lizzy - Lisanna  
> windy - Wendy

_fire dragon king changed lion boy to neko_

**lulu:** lmao hes gonna be so mad

 **ice cube:** where the hell even is he?

 **lulu:** modeling gig

he works for an astronomy-themed fashion line called Celestial Gate Keys ironically he's poses for the leo type outfits

 **titania:** ah

so he's a pussy

 **lulu:** asfdsgfgsjfdjsdf nO

 **she devil:** he's a pussy

 **lulu:** NO

_fire dragon king added ThUnDer thIGhS to the chat_

**she devil:** oh this is gonna be goooooood

 **ice cube:** who the hell is thunder thighs?

 **titania:** yes, who exactly is this 'ThUnDer thIGhS'?

 **great sea:** juvia is curious on who has the thunderous thighs

 **lulu:** oh no

 **windy:** what does thunder thighs even mean???

whaaaatt

 **lulu:** _@windy_ you DONT what to know

dont search it up

i just searched it up and i regret it

 **fire dragon king:** if you dont see me tomorrow i regret nothing

 **great sea:** juvia suspects that this wont go well

or that this is the wrong person to mess with

 **iron head:** giiiihh i think i know who this is

gih

 **hacker:** whoooooo

 **ice cube:** there's an owl in the chat

who let in a owl in the chat?

 **hacker:** stfu you ugly ass sorry disgraceful excuse of male stripper. You aren't funny

 **lulu:** go OFF LEVY

 **fire dragon king:** hell yeah!

 **great sea:** juvia does not appreciate you attacking gray sama!

 **ice cube:** tHE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT-

_ThUnDer thIGhS is online_

**ThUnDer thIGhS:** who the hell thought id want to be invited to a fairy tail chat

 **hacker:** WHO THE FUCK YOU CALLING LITTLE,, YOU CRUSTY ASS STRIPPER YOU PROBABLY HAVE LITTLE PENIS

 **ThUnDer thIGhS:** i-

i cant

 **ice cube:** I DONT HAVE A LITTLE PENIS

 **great sea:** yEAH JUVIA IS SURE GRAY SAMA DOESNT HAVE A MICROPENIS

 **ThUnDer thIGhS:** I D O N O T HAVE THUNDER THIGHS THEY ARE VERY MUSCULAR

 **fire dragon king:** @ThUnDer thIGhS NOT NOW LAXUS THIS IS GETTING **GOOD**

 **lulu:** aSfddfsHAHHAHAHa laxus has thunder thighs

lmao thats your new name at fairy tail telling everyone

 **hacker:** @great sea YOU GOT PROOF? A STORY PERHAPS

 **ice cube:** STFU YOU OOMPA LOOMPA LOOKING BITCH

 **ThUnDer thIGhS:** _@lulu_ I wILL DESTORY YOU

 **lulu:** _@everyone_ lmao laxus has thunder thighs

 **she devil:** _@lulu_ lmao id let him crush me with his thighs anyday 😉

 **lulu:** OoOOOo

_neko is online_

**neko:** okay which one of you motherfuckers changed my name

i am not a cat girl

 **bitches slow:** then stop acting like one

 **neko:** how- I???

 **bitches slow:** bitch your the reincarnation of raku chan you both whine like a little bitch when you dont get your way

 **neko:** who the fuck is raku chan

_bitches slow sent the video 'raku chan dies' to the chat_

**bitches slow:** bitch thats what you sound like when your mad

 **neko:** I dO NOT

 **hacker:** bITCH IF IM A OOMPA LOOMPA THEN YOUR A CRUSTY DUSTY MUSTY LOOKING ASS WIPE SORRY EXCUSE NO CHROMOZONE LOOKIN BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER

 **neko:** WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

 **lulu:** _@neko_ ill tell you later(it was natsu who changed your name)

 **neko:** tell me now (that motherfucker ill kill him) ( _@bitches slow_ And fuck you bickslow, you probably have a tattoo on your dick)

 **iron head:** _@ice cube_ ngl levy has better insults that you and thats sayings something

 **ice cube:** _@iron head_ stfu you dusty musty siberian huskey hoe defending a ratchet ass hoe whos flat as paper

 **neko:** oooh shit

this is **fun**

 **bitches slow:** _@neko_ you wanna see it? 😉

_ThUnDer thIGhS is offline_

**she devil:** lmao i think i broke laxus he wont reply to any of my texts

 **lizzy:** he might becoming over so he can smash you between his thighs

 **bitches slow:** thunder thighs

ha

thunder thigh tribe

 **neko:** the three T's

and fuck you no i dont want to see your musty crusty dick

 **bitches slow:** you sure?

 **neko:** bitch unlike lisanna i have standards for who i date along with gential i wanna see

and it ain't yours

 **lizzy:** aH-

it hurts but its true

 _@she devil_ help me

 **she devil:** id defend you but i dont wanna be a hypocrite

 **lizzy:** bitch-

_ice cube is offline_

**hacker:** gray go and went brrrrr out of this chat

well fight tommorow

_hacker is offline_

**Author's Note:**

> Remember to give me kudos and yell at me in the comments.


End file.
